Support From Family And Friends (Old Blog Post)

Friday, February 20th, 2009

Having a caring and supportive group of family and friends is important to me. Being able to know that what ever I am currently facing people I care about will be there for me. However I do not fully express with everyone the intimate details of my life.

No matter what the topic is I find that most people can find someone who they can relate to.

I have triumphed through the tests and trials of life and continue to face new challenges. I am a more peaceful and spiritual person now than before. I find myself being more aware of my surroundings and am mindful of how I live my life.

When I think about myself compared to others, I don't believe that I am what you would consider your typical TTC lady. I have gone through multiple surgeries, treatments and therapy, and having PCOS is the icing on the cake. This makes TTC a difficult task along with doing regular chores and going out with friends. Being disabled makes life complicated and sometimes can feel like life is more difficult than it really is. I have grown as a person and work with my disability, it is not a crutch to hold me back from doing things that I want to do.

I have goals in life other than being a Mommy one day. One of my hobbies I enjoy is photography and hope to be able to have it as my career. I love being able to share my talent with others and being able to give a gift that will last a lifetime.

I have been wondering lately if this time in my life is the right time to be able to open up and share our TTC with all of our family and friends. Not everyone knows. I know that some people have the difficulty with opening up to others because they feel there could be judgment on them for their choice, or that they will not get the support that they are hoping for.

Currently I feel like I am on the wire about telling all of our family and friends. Ironically I do not seem to have a problem with sharing my story and experiences with the rest of the world. It is that void of judgment. I am not a secretive person at all and if someone asks me about something I tell them what I feel and think with complete honesty. That is not the problem here.

The reason for my writing here is because I am working through things. If we were to get PG, told everyone but did not carry to term then I would not want to hurt our family or friends. I believe mostly that it would feel more hurt because I told everyone to quickly. After the first trimester in PG you are more capable to carry the child to full term. Right now the plan is when we are PG we only plan on telling a few people if any and then tell everyone else when we are ready. I know many people feel that doing that is best, rather than tell everyone right away. However we may change our mind and tell everyone right away when it happens.

Today is CD1 and still nothing has happened. Though my thoughts of my cycle happening is bothering me because of what has happened in the past. Hopeful each month and then the cycle comes, and all feeling of hope and happiness feels lost. That is why many couples see a specialist after trying on their own. We have been TTC for over four years and decided to try on our own again and then afterward if not successful would talk to the doctor about seeing a specialist.

I have been told before by friends that "..once you stop trying it will probably happen right away." Perhaps they are right but the only friends I know have never been in our situation. Having a child just happened for them without trying.

So I remain waiting still and hope for the best. I want everything to work out for us. I want to make my husband a daddy. I want us to be healthy and happy.

Have you ever noticed that everyone always seems to say something like, "At least you have your health." or when a child is coming into the world the parents and family say, "We just want a healthy baby." ? I just think that is an interesting observation, that is all.