Today on the drive after buying a dead turkey for Thanksgiving, I was almost hit on the highway by a black truck who was trying to suddenly get into the far left lane while I was obviously right beside him. I slammed on the breaks a little, swerved to the left towards the medium and honked my horn a little. He got back into his lane and acted like he did nothing wrong. As quickly as that happened I began to immediately feel a panic attack come on. It didn't ever turn into a full blown attack but I can feel it in my chest and I can tell it's not going away. When it gets this bad it usually stays there until it is able to release the pent of feeling. Last time I felt this way I had three attacks in one night, that was only a few months back.
Honestly I do have a lot of things happening right now that can very well give me a reason for the elevated feelings and stress. Worry that I won't be able to finish everything in time, worry that I won't be able to cook all the dishes of food and get them out in time on Thanksgiving day, and now all the stress about this stupid poor dead turkey that's now home sitting in the fridge. I am just one very unhappy camper.
Unfortunately I don't have time to sit here and complain as I have work to do. I can hope that this panic attack doesn't come back and finish me off later tonight but that would be a HUGE hope and I don't believe that it's going away any time soon. Oh holiday stress how I loathe you.. and it's not even Black Friday yet.
Saturday, November 20, 2010
I am an AWFUL Vegan
Today my husband and I purchased a turkey, a whole turkey with bones and skin and other grossness that I don't even want to think about. We purchased this for the meat eating family members that will be coming over for Thanksgiving next week.
Everything inside me now says that I've done something wrong and that I'm a horrible person, I feel sick inside, I'm just terrible because I'm supporting an industry that kills these poor little baby turkeys while they are young, and by young I mean probably around six months of age. I don't care that the turkey package says that it wasn't given hormones, and ate a wonderful vegetarian diet and was able to be on a farm running freely. Everything I've read online that says that those turkeys are still subject to the same type of cruelty that factory farmed turkeys are subject to.
My compromise for the people who wanted turkey at our house this year was that it would be a boneless and skinless turkey and now it has everything! All I want to do is give it to the needy or take it back to the store and return it. I don't want that dead animal in my refrigerator yet the poor thing is just sitting there... waiting to be cooked and serves to hungry flesh eaters who will be coming over for Thanksgiving, as well as my husband who will eat some turkey.
I feel sick as a dog and don't even want to open my fridge. I want to clean it out top to bottom now, I want to never use another pot or pan or knife that touches that turkey. I just feel horrible about it!
I just wish that for once I could have what I've been asking for all these years, a 100% all Vegan Thanksgiving! I wish that I would have a vegetarian one this year but that's not bloody going to happen now! I am not happy in all the most strong ways of not being pleased or even mildly calm about this darn animal being in my fridge.
This is the one holiday where people, for some reason, feel that they should buy a whole dead turkey and cook it. Even though many times through the rest of the entire year they in fact, eat turkey. So saying that you only eat it once a year will not fly with me!
I am almost three full years meat free and believe you me, I don't miss it at all! I'm super healthy now, all my tests come back great like my protein, calcium, cholesterol.. all great! All because of a plant based diet! See people, eating this way isn't bad but is amazing for your body!
For goodness sake! Our teeth and mouths aren't even designed to eat the flesh of animals even though we do it. Our teeth are actually designed for eating plants, fruit, nuts... things of that nature. If we had teeth designed otherwise we'd probably have some fangs in there to help us rip through the flesh and chew better.
So in light of this upcoming Thanksgiving I feel like I am the minority even more so. I always am the majority of the year, but this is the time of year that I wish and want something, a meat free holiday season. How about this, don't buy me anything at all, just give me a vegan holiday, Thanksgiving and Christmas. After I'm gone you can break out the flesh and enjoy all the meat you can sink your teeth into.
Everything inside me now says that I've done something wrong and that I'm a horrible person, I feel sick inside, I'm just terrible because I'm supporting an industry that kills these poor little baby turkeys while they are young, and by young I mean probably around six months of age. I don't care that the turkey package says that it wasn't given hormones, and ate a wonderful vegetarian diet and was able to be on a farm running freely. Everything I've read online that says that those turkeys are still subject to the same type of cruelty that factory farmed turkeys are subject to.
My compromise for the people who wanted turkey at our house this year was that it would be a boneless and skinless turkey and now it has everything! All I want to do is give it to the needy or take it back to the store and return it. I don't want that dead animal in my refrigerator yet the poor thing is just sitting there... waiting to be cooked and serves to hungry flesh eaters who will be coming over for Thanksgiving, as well as my husband who will eat some turkey.
I feel sick as a dog and don't even want to open my fridge. I want to clean it out top to bottom now, I want to never use another pot or pan or knife that touches that turkey. I just feel horrible about it!
I just wish that for once I could have what I've been asking for all these years, a 100% all Vegan Thanksgiving! I wish that I would have a vegetarian one this year but that's not bloody going to happen now! I am not happy in all the most strong ways of not being pleased or even mildly calm about this darn animal being in my fridge.
This is the one holiday where people, for some reason, feel that they should buy a whole dead turkey and cook it. Even though many times through the rest of the entire year they in fact, eat turkey. So saying that you only eat it once a year will not fly with me!
I am almost three full years meat free and believe you me, I don't miss it at all! I'm super healthy now, all my tests come back great like my protein, calcium, cholesterol.. all great! All because of a plant based diet! See people, eating this way isn't bad but is amazing for your body!
For goodness sake! Our teeth and mouths aren't even designed to eat the flesh of animals even though we do it. Our teeth are actually designed for eating plants, fruit, nuts... things of that nature. If we had teeth designed otherwise we'd probably have some fangs in there to help us rip through the flesh and chew better.
So in light of this upcoming Thanksgiving I feel like I am the minority even more so. I always am the majority of the year, but this is the time of year that I wish and want something, a meat free holiday season. How about this, don't buy me anything at all, just give me a vegan holiday, Thanksgiving and Christmas. After I'm gone you can break out the flesh and enjoy all the meat you can sink your teeth into.
Thursday, November 18, 2010
Nothing to say tonight..
22 Fertility Friend charted cycles later and still no baby.
Just simply, can I give up now? *sigh*
Just simply, can I give up now? *sigh*
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)