A late introduction is better than never...

I never really introduced myself when I continued this new blog. So, you can call me Green Girl, that was my nick name back in high school all due to my extreme love of green and for the fact that I wore it, a lot during my school years especially my senior year.

I'm a month and a half shy of turning thirty years old. My 20's have been full with many ups and downs. By the time I was 22 years old I was having my first back surgery, by the time I was 25 I was having my second major back surgery. The second back surgery left me disabled with nerve damage, a drop foot and a messed up back causing my problems to only worsen since the surgery. Next March it will of been 5 years since the disabling back surgery and 8 years since my first back surgery.
It was 8 years this past October 27th that I fell up a concrete stairwell which caused this entire problem with my back over these years to go into motion. I can tell you that an instant back disc herniation hurts like hell and if you ever fall and have a terrible amount of pain in your back and down your leg, can't move, can barely walk... don't get the bright idea that you're "young" and it'll be ok, that you just need to go home put some ice on it and you'll feel better over the next few days. Cause chances are you just did something major to your back and that very decision to do nothing may haunt you for the rest of your life. Yes, I'm young, all of this that has happened to me, that continues to happen to me causing me new and terrible problems. The 20's haven't been that great for me, though I have had some wonderful moments. Overall I just look forward to my 30's because I figure... it can't get any worse, it's gotta get better from here. Or so I hope.

Weight has always been a struggle for me. When I was a young child I had a fear of playing outside after spending to much time outside one day and then having to come inside and take a cool bath. After that moment my life changed forever and I turned into one of those children that plays video games, watches a lot of tv and doesn't care to do outdoor activities. I then turned into the child that was always the larger one than her other friends. It didn't help that my best friend from elementary through high school was the size of a bean poll.
I've lost over 126 lbs in three years, going from a size 28 to a size 12 (jean size where I am currently) or a size 3x top size to a size small/medium. Last I ever weighed myself when I was gaining weight after my last back surgery was fall of 2006 and I weighted 295 lbs. After that between the holidays and June 2007 I had gone from a size 22 jean size to a size 26/28. I am now currently smaller than I was at the age of 14, perhaps younger. I feel great now, I'm ten times more healthy as my blood work will testify to that, and I've completely done a 180 on my diet for what I eat. I've gone from a fatty junk food meat eater to a healthy diet of vegetables, fruits, whole grains, beans.. yes, you may have guessed it, I'm 100% vegan now! Couldn't be happier with what I've been able to accomplish over these past three years. In July 2007 I made a mental lifestyle decision that changed my life forever, that I wouldn't be depressed any longer and to change the way I ate food.
Unfortunately due to a stressful year and health problems I won't be able to reach my overall goal by my 30th birthday in January. However I am under 30 pounds away. I figure that by my 30th year I will be able to shed this last lbs and hopefully be rid of them forever. Over the past year I have learned that even with a not so healthy diet I haven't gained back the weight that I lost, finally my body is used to be a smaller me. Largest change this year has been the way clothing fits me. Last winter I was a size 16 jean size, now I am down to a size 12. In fact, one pair of jeans say they are 10/12's, plus my 12's have begun to fit baggy on me. It's amazing to lose so many inches though I haven't dropped as many pounds this past year.

Everything else I can say about myself, if you are a reader of mine you already know or have an idea of it. I consider myself a very caring, loving individual but I am sensitive sometimes especially if you figure out exactly which buttons to push and in what order. More than anything in the world I want to be a mother and hope that 30 will be the lucky number and it will happen soon for my husband and I.

Peace and Silence

Honestly, I looked back into the past tonight and see no need to change what was or wasn't said. I can not go back in time and change anything but can only use that as life experience, take to the present moment and move forward towards the future. I have no idea what the future holds, I only know what I have in this current moment. And during this exact moment I have what I desire (aside from my typing fingers on the keyboard), peace and silence.

Busy Is My Middle Name...

Busy is my middle name... it has to be!

Over the past three days I have gone shopping for decorations, food for Thanksgiving, and honestly I believe I've lost track of everything else because it feels like everything is going in circles.

One thing I do know for sure is that I'm really looking forward to having the first family Thankgiving at my hubby and my new house with both sides of our family together. I have no idea what the day will be like but I have a lot planned so far and I just want everything to turn out well so that everyone will want to do it at our house every year from now on. And who knows, maybe I can get the best wish of all and have a vegan meal next year for Thanksgiving.

I know, you hear the word "vegan" and you think, "Eww, yuck! What a way to waste a perfectly good day on eating vegetables!" Well, maybe you're not thinking that but here are my thoughts on the matter. Yes this may be the one time of year where Turkey is the huge theme, but think of this, people eat turkey many more times of year than they realize in sandwich form or in soup. So while we are celebrating on what we are thankful for this year lets let the turkeys be thankful to by us not eating them. Just one thought and I do have others but I'll keep it nice and short for tonight.

Other than that I've been having lots of things happening health wise that have really been throwing my weeks off track. If it's not my low back giving me problems then it's my left knee, if it's not my left knee then it's concern about my right foot, if it's not my foot then it's probably my back again or all three have ganged up to get me.

I have a second back injection scheduled for this next week and if this one does not help then I will be seeing a new back surgeon. I do have fear of what could happen if I go through a third back surgery and honestly the idea scares the daylights out of me. Mostly I'll be going to see him to see if it's now the stenosis that's my primary problem or if in case it's something else.

Due to my back problems I'll have to take it easy now for the rest of my life. No strenuous activity, which means even my hard work outs have to be pulled back to more of a minimum. When I've tried my work outs, even after this last injection in my back, afterward I had a bad reaction and was couch and bed ridden for the rest of the day in pain within hours of the work out or at least by the next day. Honestly it's not fair that a woman like me, who's done so much over the past three years to get healthy and stay healthy should be plagued by back problems to the degree that I have to limit physical exercise or physical activity otherwise I could make my back worse. That's right, worse! The stenosis in my back has only gotten worse over the past year, as the CT Myelogram clearly show the degeneration and stenosis spreading in my back like a slow wild fire. I'm not even 30 yet and I feel like I have the back of someone fifty years older than me...

But at least I have my overall health, clothing so I don't freeze, food so I don't go hungry, a roof over my head and a very beautiful roof by that, a wonderful husband, two loving kitties, good family, great friends... what else could I ask for? :)